Thursday, March 10, 2011

Where's the solution?

Where does my true potential lie?
The question that underlies all the following concerns.

I show interest in small engineering projects.  They mostly promise money to me.  Will I enjoy jumping into a business setting head first?

Electrical engineering catches my interest.  Well, it isn't even the cool part of engineering that interests me.  I get sucked into the boring things of electrical engineering.  The cool  things, like circuit boards and flashing LED's and complex computer tricks, barely make me bat a lash.  Rather, its the dorky and rather uneventful things that I find my mind wrapped around.  I love the math behind things.  I love seeing the equations, and I especially love the physics.  The professors and the students alike both seem to skip over my interests, mostly because its tedious and frustrating to them.  I get upset when I don't get clear explanations, and often I wish I could have days where I could sit down and just explore the physics behind what we learn.  (I have a problem of doing that without a nervous feeling surging through my body that says, "I have so many things to do!  I can't waste time!")

What part of this involves my career?  I've told Thad a thousand times that I would like to jump on the wave of this wireless electricity transfer, I believe its call electro-magnetic induction.  However, I haven't done much to get myself started in this.  (Once again, I have so many things to do!)  The idea appeals to me.  Wirelessly charging your cell phones, maybe even your cars!  It all feels so futuristic, so fresh!  I'm in the right era to be an active contributor, too.

I feel like I could be successful and ambitious in the app industry.  The problem comes when I try to define success.  I would be creating video games.  Do I want to support the growth such an obviously destructive and addictive form of media?

I know video games and computers mentally crippled me along with many others.  I don't think I could count myself as successful if I know that some large percentage of my audience could be addicted to my software, and could possibly lose sense of who they are or what they want in life because they get sucked into my artificial gaming reality.  I want to help man-kind progress.  I don't want to create a drug (which is what I could classify many of today's games).

Though my view towards video games are obviously negative, I have an obsessive passion for them.  I can't help it.  I truly love the idea of creating a video game.  At least one!  And though my mind is conflicting, this is probably what I'm going to do as soon as I can, make an app.

I would love to make videos again (I filmed myself for a whole day, thinking I would start posting daily vlogs on here.  Ends up I just carried around a camera and confused people for nothing.  No video).  I would love to start capturing beautiful things in life.  I want to explore.  I would love to explore this Earth and just experience cool things.

It doesn't seem to be coming quickly enough.
I want to be rushed by it, and carried as if I were in a river.

I'm interrupting this blog.
It isn't feeling right.

I don't speak about it much, but inside, I am becoming more and more religious.  I needed to stop the blog because I prayed not too long ago and realized something.  I am trying to move forward and asking the Lord to follow along and support me.

I don't know the way.

It reminded me the feeling that, yep, I am lost after all.  Why haven't I been looking at it in the other direction?  Lord, lead the way.  I'll go where you ask me to go.  You're the boss.  You're success.

Hey, reader.  I can't believe you've made it this far.  We should get together sometime.  Where? Anywhere. Just tell me how you want to communicate.  The internet could be a place to start.  Got any cool ideas, something you've been wanting to do?  We should do it right now.  Give me a comment.

1 comment:

  1. Clinty, I love you so much! And yes video games are addicting, that's the beauty of them. They are fabulous, a way to enter into another world that isn't your own! To do the impossible, like building a sphinx with your bare hands or shooting lasers from your eyes or flying!